God Wants Me To

Come with me.

God wants me to.

Let me tell you what God wants me to do.


This was written at 01:07am: Tuesday: November 3rd, 2009, in my lobby of my 414 place, by Joey Arnold.


God Wants Me To.

You must first see why I write. I am writing because it is time. I will tell you more about that later. But really, it is time. I am writing because it is time.

Because it is time.
Because God told me to write this.
Because I must save this moment.
Because you must see this.
Because I want you to see this.
Because I want you to come with me.
Because it is time.
Because the truth is out there.
Because there is no going back.
Because I want to clear things up.
Because we have to do this.
Because the world is counting on us.
Because the spirit is egging us on.
Because we can.
Because we must.
Because we will. Tell you more about that, later.




Let me tell you why.

So much is so uncertain.
But there are some answers.
Let me tell you what I am going t do.
I write due to confusion.


Where I am.

I want to show you.
Where I am right now, spiritually.
I want you to see where I am, physically.
I want you to feel me, to hear me.
Where I have been.
What I have been doing.
How I have been doing.
I really want to show you.
But why.
There is a reason.
Reason to tell you all of these things.
And I will tell you.
I will tell you why I am writing this.
But you first must see something, first.





I want to tell you why I am writing.

It is because I have been so lost. But I know what God wants me to do. I have a really hard time saying just that. But it is totally true. I totally do know what God wants me to do.

I know what God wants me to do. I have known all of my life. I know what will make me happy.

It takes a lot of heart and guts to do what we must. But we must. We still must, regardless of the feelings or the circumstances. If we must do it then we must do it. There are no ifs or buts about it. But let me tell you about me.

Let me tell you what I got to do. Let me tell you what i will do. Let me tell you what I have to do.

You must see heart in my words.

I want to share my heart with you. I will tell you much more, later. I will fill in the blanks, later.

But I have to at least start with saying this.

I have to at least say that I actually do know a little more than I will admit. I usually play it dumb. I usually tell people that I do not know what I want to do with my life. And that is the main reason why I am writing, right now.



Because God Wants Me To.

Because it is time to clear some things out.

Because I actually do know.

Because I have always know. But I am just such a coward to share. I get scared at people's reactions. I get scared about failing. I am a people person. So that has something to do with my destiny. But I am also a clean freak.

I repeat that I am a clean freak. I am obsessed with order. I want things perfect. Michael Jackson was this way. I am not too bad. But deep inside, I can feel the tug. I want things to work. I want things to be logical. I want things to work.

But I really do not know what that means. But that is why I write. I will really have to tell you more about that, too, later. But for the most part, I really have to go with what I do know.



I do know.

I know that God wants me to be a teacher.

Or God wants me to be a preacher.

Or God just wants me to be an encourager.

Or God just wants me to be a youth pastor.




I do know.

That is the least that I can say.

I will have to say more, later.

But please know that I was lost.

I still am a bit lost.

This past year, I have been dead.

Joey Arnold has been dead.

I will have to tell you why.

And I will tell you why I have been lost.


Why was I lost this past year.
Why did I fall into such apathy.
Why was depression so strong within.
Why must it be that way.
Why let people foul you off course.
Why let anything stop you.
Why run from God's will.






I will have to tell you.

But before I tell you about this past year.

Do know that I am ready.










I am ready.



God Wants Me To.


To write, like this.
To draw, to connect the dots for others.
To pray, and write them down inside PABs.
To talk to people.
To live in a basement.
To write songs.
To play guitar.
To play piano.
To dance.
To inspire children to L4OJ.
To write stories.
To be a creator.
To be an inventor.
To be a musician.
To be a missionary.
To be an actor.
To be an encourager.
To be a preacher.
To be a teacher.
To be all that I can be.
To help out during children church.
To help out at church.
To help out at nursery, a little.
To help out at Sunday School.
To help The Salvation Army.
To help Blake Webb.
To help Lincoln Hawk.
To help my missionary friends.
To write EAs.
To write books.
To help Donald Kamese.
To possibly help out TBN.
To help Aguape, Church of Christ.
To help Word of Life.
To help organization, if I can.
To make this list.
To stay in Oregon?


I just asked a question mark.

I made a really long list.
And I ended it with Oregon.
Or should it be California.
I can go elsewhere if I had a place to stay.
If I can get a room or an apartment.
Then I could even move to Australia.





But that is what God wants.

But that was not a complete list.

But I wrote that as a confirmation.




Because there was confusion.

Because there still is confusion.

But I will still have to say more on that, later.

It may have all started back in 2008.

It seem as if I had nothing after Revolution Hawaii.

That is not the whole story.

I have my excuses.

I have my reasons.

But they are for real.

But then again, this is so hard to explain.

I don't have the time to talk about my whole life, right now. I would tell you about Hawaii. It is a long story to how I ended up landing on a year long mission trip in Hawaii. It is a very confusing story. It is also a very beautiful story. It is also a very scary story for me, too. I really want to tell you how I got there. I want to tell you why I went. I want to tell you about the peace and the desire that i had for going to such a place. But I also want to tell you about how I got here, too. But then again, that story is even harder to tell.





That story is even harder to tell.

What happened after Revolution Hawaii. That is the lost story. You do not know. I barely even know. I am still trying to figure this one out. I think I know what was happening. It is still happening. But I really am going to do something. And I really hope you know why this story even matters to begin with.








I am oatmeal joy.

But this past year has been anything but joyful. I am always one with joy. But it has been so confusing. But I can tell you what I have learned through this toughest part to my whole entire life.







Transition.

I am in transition.

I am still in transition.

I am in the toughest transition in my life.

I am not where I thought I would be.

I am in a mystery.

But peace is coming back to me on that.

I will have to get a video camera.

And I will have to document this.

You will be shocked.

I am going to show you.















God Wants Me To.



I will tell you more on YouTube.


I need a basement.
Because I am an artist.
God wants me to use my talents.
But I'm always busy.
I have to pay my bills, go to school.
But God is still begging me not to.
Don't let life smog you down.


I will have to say more on this. later.

I want to finish this story.
I want you to know.
And there is a reason why I want you to know.
And that is because I said so.

Because God is for real.

God not only has something for me.








But God also has something for you.



I will tell you more, later.

But for now, do hear this.

God tells me to find the space.
I want you to live in a basement.

So, I reply, "So, where is my basement?"
But God smiles, "You're not looking hard enough."






You are not.

You are not looking hard enough.


You are not.